Too Good to Be True? Exactly how to Inform If You’re Dating a Phony
It’s really great meeting someone new and immediately thinking, “They could be the one!” Everything they do seems to be perfect. They check everything off your list! While it may not always be this way, most of the time, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
How can someone be every single thing you desire in a person? Doesn’t it seem coincidental when you just described your perfect life partner to someone, and you soon find out that they have all of those characteristics, down to them even liking flaming hot Cheetos dipped in chocolate pudding *don’t judge*?
Take my ex-boyfriend, for example. Really great guy, super fun to be around, and what do you know? He was exactly all the things I was looking for. I thought I lucked out completely!
It all falls apart
Everything was going great. He was everything he said he was. But then, slowly, I saw the real him slipping out. The real him as in, he stopped working out *which I like for health reasons—not because I’m super shallow and want my significant other to have a hot bod*.
He ate fast food and junk food almost all of the time, and he talked about moving up north *mind you, I live in a northern region already, accompanied by FREEZING winters*. He seemed to contradict every life goal he had previously told me about.
Too good to be true? 7 warning signs to keep an eye on
I mean, sure, someone can possess many qualities you want, but there are usually a few things that don’t get crossed off your list. If someone seems to be ridiculously perfect for you, keep these seven things in mind to weed out the phony liars.
#1 They agree with everything you say. This is number one for a reason. It is the biggest red flag when it comes to dating someone new. Nobody—and I mean NOBODY—is going to agree with every single thing you have an opinion on. “You like your eggs sunny side up with ketchup and a dollop of yogurt, too?!”
#2 They mention something shortly after you’ve just talked about it. Say you were just telling them the day before about how you wanted to move to Boston to pursue some sort of career, and then the next day *or a few days later, if they’re smart*, acting as if they forgot your previous conversation completely, they talk about how Boston is really cool, and they would totally love living there.
#3 They lie about what they are really doing. Lying in general is a HUGE red flag. If they’re specifically lying about something you recently told them you don’t like in a person—excessive partying, for example—then you should get rid of them.
#4 They avoid talking about themselves. When having a conversation with them, look for signs if they’re diverting your questions. If you ask them specific things about their interests, and they try flirting and saying things like, “You first. I want to know what you like,” then you’ve probably got yourself a phony.
Their immediate agreements AFTER you have provided your answer may seem cute, like you have a ton in common. Unfortunately, this is a telltale sign of someone who is too good to be true.
#5 They contradict their previous statements. If, on your first date, you raved about how you could die for some sushi and they immediately agreed that they love it, but then later pass by a sushi joint and say how gross it is, you may have a huge problem on your hands.
This is massive red flag when it comes to dating someone new. How can you even tell who this person is if they repeatedly contradict what you originally thought about them? Now, it may be something harmless like their favorite food, but it can also turn into huge things, like where they want to raise a family.
#6 They seem annoyed by your habits. I found this to be especially true if they once said they shared the same interests. One time, I told my significant other how I loved to practice inverted yoga *handstands, headstands, etc.* in the living room. At first, he said he loved it too. I began thinking about how awesome that was, because we could do it together!
Not only did I never once see him do anything remotely like yoga at all—other than him trying to reach the remote from across the couch—but he seemed annoyed when I would practice.
#7 Their actions don’t match up with their words. Someone who agrees you should exercise regularly and eat well to maintain a healthy lifestyle—or something else equally as important to you—but then skips the gym and pigs out on pizza on a regular basis is a warning sign.