It’s impossible to love someone until they someday change and become who we really want them to be.
To love means to accept someone as they are, in their entirety, in the present. It’s not just accepting it, it’s loving who he is, including the parts that hurt us because of what he can trigger in us.
Yet many of us have formed relationships with the hope that our partner will eventually make a difference.
But that’s not love.
We are the ones who want another person to become who we think they should be.
It’s like we take scissors and thread, and cut and sew his best and his worst qualities until he becomes someone we want to love and have in our life.
The boldest thing we can do is love someone exactly the way they are.
To approach relationships with the expectation of change, we automatically lose sight of the importance of where our partner is traveling, and instead of letting them grow as they want, we put up roadblocks and detours, because we want him to grow only as we want him to.
Instead, we make the choice to love someone without waiting for change, but rather with an expectation of growth, which means that we know that one day they will be able to grow in a different direction than us.
No one wants to be changed, we don’t want someone to tell us that they love us, but that they would love us more if we dressed differently, if we weren’t talking so loud, or if we weren’t. so many friends.
To find what we are looking for, each of us must make the choice to wait for the type of love that doesn’t want to change who we are, but understands that we will grow.
The best relationships are those where each person knows they are free to move in the direction their heart draws them – that there are no set rules or conditions to follow.
This does not mean that we want to be treated badly, but rather that we hope to inspire the growth of our partner. The best partner will want to help us with our growth and the evolution of our soul through spiritual, mental, emotional, and even physical revelations, and not because they want us to change.
For many of us, we’ve only experienced relationships in which our partner only liked certain things about us, so it’s hard to know what this type of love looks like.
The biggest barometer for a love that hopes we grow up (but doesn’t want to change us) is a feeling of peace and freedom when we’re in our partner’s arms.
It’s knowing that we don’t have to do anything special to be worthy of our partner’s love. When we enter into a relationship with someone where we have no desire to change who they are, then we also accept them in their full entirety.
We accept his darkness and his demons.
We look at his scars and old wounds, and accept it, letting him know that we see him exactly as he is, without wanting to erase what he’s been through.
This type of love really does exist, but the sad reality is that many of us don’t resist it, and on the contrary, we keep entering into partnerships where we feel like we’re not constantly on the lookout for it. height of the ideals of our partner.
But that cycle only ends when we decide to do it, when we realize that we have learned all of our lessons about love and what we need from our partner, without feeling guilty or hurt because of it.
If we decide that we deserve full and complete love, that we will extend love to another person, as our highest evolved self, with the ideal that their higher self will receive it – then these aspects of us – even others did not want to see, suddenly turn beautiful to someone who can see our light even in darkness.
Loving with the hope of inspiring someone to grow means that there are no end results to a specific relationship dynamic. There aren’t any conventional signs to judge this type of romantic union, but that doesn’t mean it can’t include living together, marriage, or even children; it just means that none of it is a stipulation for a successful romantic relationship.
Each of us is destined to continue to grow, and what interests us or what we explore will be different each year. We should try new things, read new materials, and experiment in finding out what kind of person we really are, and what kind of life we want to lead. Some partners will help us do all of this and more.
Because when we love someone, not because we want them to change, but rather to inspire them to grow, then we leave the door open for whatever can happen. We do not limit his or her greatness by our own limited ideals, but on the contrary, we look forward to seeing the magic that can occur when we make the choice to love someone exactly as they are.