It’s great to get a match with the hot guy or gal you liked on Tinder. You know that you find each other attractive and like what you’ve read about one another’s profiles. But knowing what to say on Tinder is the next natural step.
For some, this is where things get tricky. It’s easy enough thinking of something funny and witty to say in your profile but trying to think about what to say that’s not too forward, but shows you are interested, that might make them laugh, and at the very least get them to respond, can be tough.
Knowing what to say on Tinder
Knowing what to say on Tinder isn’t just about being flirty but about making a connection. Whether you want to chat first, meet up right away, or just make your match laugh, you need to be confident in what you say.
Telling them, you don’t know how you matched and that you’re intimidated by the good looks or think they’re a catfish because someone like them could never be single is giving the wrong message.
You want to be able to compliment them, lead into a conversation, and show your confidence. Now, you shouldn’t have a line to always start with, but knowing the topics you feel comfortable with is a good start.
What to say on Tinder for a date
So, you know the pressure is on. But what exactly should you say on Tinder to give yourself the best chance of taking it to the next level and setting up a date? Here are some useful tips and ideas, starting with the basics and the right things to say.
1. Don’t be afraid to reach out first
There is nothing wrong with being the first person to make a move. If you like the look of your match, go for it and start a conversation right away.
It’s not going to look weird or desperate—that’s what Tinder is there for, after all. If you leave it too long, someone else might beat you to it!
2. Make sure you stand out from the crowd
Remember getting matches on Tinder is pretty easy, so make sure you attempt to say something that grabs their attention and makes them want to get to know you better. Just saying, “What’s up?” won’t attract their attention.
3. Reference something in their bio
Show that you actually read what they had to say on their bio. Ask them a question about it or make a little joke. Say something to show you are genuinely interested in getting to know them better. If their bio is slim, ask where they were in a specific photo. This can get you talking about travel or local places to visit.
4. Pay them a compliment
Knowing what to say on Tinder can be hard, but everyone loves a compliment. They have no doubt put up pictures of themselves where they think they look their best, so there is no harm at all in paying them a nice compliment—don’t be too intense.
Keep it light and fun, and they’ll find you charming. Go overboard too soon, and they might find you a bit desperate or creepy! Be warned!
5. Ask questions and pay attention to the answers
Obviously, asking lots of questions is one of the best ways to make sure you get a response. Think up interesting questions to ask them and start there.
Try and be more original than “how are you?”. Ask them something specific and unusual. You’ll pique their interest which means they are much more likely to respond. When they reply, pay attention to what they said and build a conversation from there.
6. Be relaxed and friendly
Make sure you keep your tone light, relaxed, and friendly. No one wants to hang out with someone too intense or desperate sounding, so just be chilled and keep it light and fun.
7. Don’t be too safe or generic
Remember, originality is key here! Don’t just stick to safe, boring topics. Being a little quirky or unusual is something most people find attractive, so don’t be afraid to take a few risks to capture their attention.
8. Don’t keep on messaging without getting a reply
If they turned their phone off for a meeting and turned it back on again to receive five messages in a row from you, then it’s going to look pretty crazy.
Give someone time to respond. If you must wait a few days, so be it. If they can’t be bothered to reply, they are not worth your time in the first place.
9. Don’t make your initial messages really long
Keep it short and sweet in the first instance. You don’t need to give them your life story all at once. Instead, just stick to a few lines until you build a rapport and know one another better.
10. Don’t be bitter about rejections
If they don’t reply or do but are dismissive, then just let them be. They are not worth your time anyway, so don’t bother getting angry or bitter about it. Just move on—there are plenty more fish in the sea after all.
11. Don’t be too s*xual
It’s not a good idea to come on too strong. Don’t say anything overly s*xual before you’ve even met.
How to get to know eachother
If you aren’t trying to jump into a date but really want to see what you have in common and if they are worth setting up a date for, you’ll want to get to know them better. Here is what to say on Tinder when you want to get to know one another better.
12. Try to make them laugh
Humor is always a winner. If you are known for being a witty person, then use this to your advantage. Gentle teasing is also fun, so try to make them laugh—but don’t force it.
13. Pay attention to details
Remember always read what they write and pay attention to the details. People want to feel heard. They want to know you are interested in them, so don’t gloss over what they say or make the conversation all about you.
14. Don’t always reply right away
It’s okay to leave them waiting a while sometimes. This doesn’t mean you should play games, but don’t get so enveloped that you keep checking the app or ignore work or chores because of them. Add chatting with them to your life, don’t get obsessed.
15. Start flirting
Make sure after a few exchanges that you turn the conversation a bit flirty. Make sure there is chemistry between the two of you before you meet.