We’ve all been involved with a significant other who just doesn’t see our value. We give and give and get relatively nothing in return. If you’re going through something like this, you’re definitely not alone. It’s really hard to admit when your boyfriend is taking your for granted.
And sometimes, you may not even realize he is. Some people think the way they’re treated is just how it’s supposed to be. Others want to please their boyfriends so much they just don’t care if the effort isn’t reciprocated. But believe me, you should care and you should definitely put an end to unappreciative behavior.
Why there needs to be equal effort in a relationship
You can’t have a successful and happy relationship without equal effort. Sure, you may be happy for a while doing everything he loves, but when you never get anything in return, you’ll turn bitter, cranky, and you’ll stop seeing him as someone you like.
The truth is, both people should be putting forth equal amounts of effort. And that effort shouldn’t be so you get something in return. You should be doing nice things because you want to make your lover happy. And if both of you are always appreciating each other and doing things you both like, you’ll be much happier together.
How to tell if your boyfriend is taking you for granted and what to do about it
Before we can figure out how to approach the issue of whether or not your boyfriend is taking you for granted, we have to identify the signs. If you think your significant other isn’t appreciating everything you do for him, determine if any of these signs describe him.
#1 He doesn’t say thank you. This is the biggest thing a guy can do to show he doesn’t appreciate you and it’s something so many people overlook.
Sure, they shouldn’t need to thank you for every single thing you do, but if you go out of your way to make them happy, they definitely need to. When they never thank you for anything you do, they don’t appreciate you.
#2 He doesn’t even acknowledge the nice things you do. In addition to not thanking you, if your boyfriend doesn’t even acknowledge the things you do, he’s taking you for granted. Even if you do something as simple as fill up their water bottle and they don’t even say anything, they’re not appreciative. It really doesn’t take a lot of effort on their part to notice the things you do.
#3 He expects nice things from you. Is your kind behavior toward him expected? If so, it could be a sign your boyfriend is taking you for granted. Nice and sweet behavior isn’t something that should be expected. He should never expect you to go out of your way to do nice things. If he does, he really doesn’t appreciate the things you do. And he’s spoiled. Rotten. Put an end to this behavior asap.
#4 He stops listening to your rants. If you don’t consider this being unappreciative, you should. Your significant other is a part of your life. They’re there to hear you out and help you along the way.
If he stops listening to what upsets you or what you have to say in general, there’s no way he appreciates you. This just shows he’s being selfish, too. And you definitely don’t want that.
#5 He stops taking you out on dates. I know that as your relationship progresses, the number of dates you go on slims. However, you can’t stop going on dates altogether. At LEAST one night a week should be a designated date night. If he stops taking you out on dates or never even wants to go, he’s taking you and your relationship for granted.
#6 He doesn’t make sacrifices for you. Every relationship requires sacrifices. That’s just the way it is. You can’t always get 100% of what you want because not all of that will make your partner happy. If you’re giving things up to make him happy but he’s not doing the same, your boyfriend is taking you for granted.
#7 He gets upset if you don’t do something for him. This is basically the holy grail of signs that your boyfriend is taking you for granted. Not only does he expect you to do nice things for him, but he gets mad when you don’t. If he asks you to do something and you’re not able to – for legitimate reasons – and he gets upset, he’s definitely taking you for granted.
#8 He’s inconsiderate when it comes to texts and phone calls. Does he ignore them completely? Or maybe he replies vaguely to something that is time sensitive and you need an answer for. This is not only disrespectful, but it also shows that he’s not appreciating you and your time.
#9 He stops complimenting you. Now, after the honeymoon phase is over, the compliments will die down a little bit, but they should still be there. Your boyfriend should never stop complimenting you altogether. If he does, it shows he’s taking you for granted.
#10 He never does anything nice for you. This is especially true if he used to do a lot of nice things for you but doesn’t do anything anymore. If he won’t even get you a glass of water when he’s getting one for himself, his appreciation for you is long gone.