“What to do when a woman is crying” will literally yield more than 60 million Google search results. So what’s with all the interest? When it comes down to it, walking in on a woman crying is uncomfortable for everyone involved. The more help we can all understand, the better!
The confusion lies in what to do about the crying. Should you go in for a stilted, possibly awkward hug? Offer her your condolences? Apologize your ass off? The answer for what to do is equally challenging whether or not you’re even the one who made her cry.
And let’s face it, women can cry for a myriad of reasons. If you have any common sense you likely know the basics of what to do when a woman is crying. But, what about the rest? We’re here to tell you what *not* to do when a woman is crying.
Reasons a woman is crying
Just to warn you, it’s going to be a long list. While some women never shed a tear, the rest of them may cry at the drop of a hat! The most common reasons for a woman to start crying include…
#1 She laughed so hard she cried. Sometimes when your lady love is laughing so hard she’ll actually start to cry. Science suggests we do this because we’re laughing so hard it is putting pressure on our tear-ducts. These are known as “reflex tears.” Nice joke, bro.
#2 Post-s*x crying. Ever had your partner turn out the water works after a particularly randy romp? If you think she’s crying because she’s happy, you’re right! However, if you think she’s crying because the s*x blew *and not in a fun way* then… well, you might be right about that too. Post-coital crying happens for one of three reasons.
#3 She is simply sad. This is one of the most obvious answers across the board. If she’s feeling rejected, depressed, unattractive, unproductive, or maybe she’s just in a general state of sadness… well, she’s going to cry.
#4 Manipulation. This next reason for why a woman is crying is sad but true. And we definitely don’t condone this reasoning, but women are pretty good at manipulating men with their tears.
Hey, we never said it was an honorable reason to cry, but it can be a true one.
#5 Hormonal. Hormones are a little devil, especially when it comes to waterworks. She’ll cry because she’s happy, sad, pissed, wants chocolate, and basically for no reason at all. You can thank Mother Nature for that little gem.
#6 She’s at her wits end. When pushed to the brink of frustration, some women may begin to cry. If you’re pissing her off and she’s at the brink of her patience, you’re going to see that quivering lip coming for you!
#7 She’s ridiculously happy. On the opposite spectrum of being bummed, women can also cry when they’re feeling beyond jazzed about a certain situation. That’s right, there’s just no winning!
Basics of what TO do when a woman is crying
We feel you, dude. It can feel really awkward to know the proper way to respond. That’s why we’re going to give you the basic list of Dos that’ll never let you down when your girl is shedding tears.
#1 Listen. Not every problem needs to be solved. Men tend to want to fix things, and women just want to talk about them. Men are fixers by nature, so when they hear their girl’s complaint or crying about a certain situation, they’re going to jump into “Superman Mode.”
#2 Read her body language. If the girl in front of you wants a comforting hug, her body language will let you know. Similarly, if she wants her own space, she’ll make it known. Just be perceptive. If you still can’t figure it out, it never hurts to ask!
#3 Reassure her. Most women like communication, especially when they are emotionally stressed out. If she’s crying, just communicate with her. Reassure her that everything is going to be fine, and tell her you’ll figure it all out together. Ask her if there’s anything you can do to help her, or if she’d prefer if you just listened to her.
What NOT to do when a woman is crying
People, usually of the male variety, tend to get a bit squeamish when a woman is crying. She begins with a sniff, a downcast expression, or cupped eyebrows. Then the lip begins to shake, and before you know it, the waterworks are flowing.
#1 Laugh at her. If a woman is crying and your knee-jerk reaction is to laugh, well, you’re a jerk. Still, for some people, laughter is a natural albeit nervous reaction. If this has *you* written all over it, let your partner know beforehand so they aren’t so shocked by your seemingly heartless behavior.
#2 Make Jokes. This is a tricky reaction to crying that could either make you the most charming person ever, or a total a-hole.
Maybe you’re an at-home stand-up comedian. And you think you could make a priest laugh at a funeral! Great, good for you. That doesn’t mean she wants you to utter wise-cracks while she’s sobbing her mascara off.
Don’t get us wrong, the thought is sweet. We get it – your girl is upset. So you think, “make my girl laugh!” Still, you run a huge risk of offending her or making her think you’re an insensitive jerk.
#3 Stare blankly. When a woman is crying, it’s usually customary to ask her if she’s okay, make a move to hug her, or apologize if you’re being a dick! Nothing – and I mean nothing – is going to make a woman crying feel more invalidated than a blank stare.
Look, we know it’s uncomfortable. But there’s nothing *scary* about water falling from your girlfriend’s eyes. So don’t ignore her!
#4 Come on to her. Storytime! One year, my boyfriend broke up with me. We’d been together for three years. We were *that couple* that our single friends would go to for dating advice. When news spread of our breakup, I had a friend show up at my house within a couple of days. “I heard you and *Jackass* broke up.”
#5 Leave. Whether she’s a frequent crier or she only turns on the water works when things are especially dire, leaving is probably not a good idea. No matter how uncomfortable or angry you feel, don’t bail on your favorite female.
And if *she* leaves, there is a 97% chance she’s standing outside the door waiting for you to chase after her. Yes, we do that. But if she likes to be alone when she cries, feel free to scoot your bum out the door!