There are so many views on this, but is any one tip really ever the best answer?
So when should a guy call after the first date?
Love, just like the two individuals in it, is unique and different. What works for one person may not work for the other.
But when it comes to calling up after a date, there’s little you can do to make it go wrong.
If you’ve just walked your date to her door and floated back home after a perfect date, there’s every chance that you may be on cloud nine.
You may be holding your phone and wishing you could speak to her.
But at the same time, you may have heard the old dating rule, wait two days before calling.
If you want a short answer to when a guy should call, the best advice for you is to call her when you feel like it.
When should a guy call?
Most guys give a lot more emphasis on when a guy should call than it really deserves.
You’ve obviously had a great date with this girl, or you wouldn’t be wondering about the auspicious time to call.
Remember, women have feelings too. You just can’t play by the book and wait a couple of days even if you really miss this woman and want to talk to her. It’s justifiable for women to play hard to get, because men love the chase.
But women don’t like to be kept waiting and they don’t like an insecure chase. The first few moments of excitement could turn into frustrations and even anger.
If you do like your date and had a fun time with her, end the date well and let her know that you had a wonderful time and would love to see her again sometime soon. Be chivalrous and vaguely specific about contacting her soon. “I’ll see you soon…” or “I’ll speak to you soon…” are cheerful and yet warm ways to end the conversation.
[Read: How to end a date perfectly]
And about when you should call her back, here’s what you need to keep in mind.
#1 Call her on the same night
If you’ve had one of the best times of your life and you know your date’s had a special time too, there’s nothing wrong in calling her up the very night.
But how sure are you that she’s already falling for you? Did she say something like “I can’t wait to meet you again” or an “I think I miss you already”?
If you’re not very sure about whether she’s had a great time with you, but you really want to tell her you had a nice time, don’t call just yet.
Text her a line thanking her for a great date.
By doing that, you’re opening the door for a conversation. If she wants to talk to you, you can pick up the hint from her quick responses.
By texting her after getting back to your place or later that night, it lets her know that she’s made an impression on you. You may also make it obvious that you’re smitten by her, and yet, you’re giving her enough space by not calling her up and texting her instead.
What starts off as a text may then lead to one of you calling the other person up the same night and having a long romantic late night conversation, and even a date in the next couple of days. Girls love a guy who gets back in touch that very night. It removes their uncertainty and makes them feel more mushy and happy. But then again, it also makes you appear too easy to get.
Text her at first, and even if she isn’t too enthusiastic in her response or doesn’t text anything about calling each other up, you’ve played the chivalrous card by thanking her for a great date. You’ve lost nothing here. [Read: How to be chivalrous]
Any woman would appreciate a guy who can initiate a conversation the very evening. But this works in your favor only if she’s smitten by you too.
#2 Call her the next day
If you’ve had a perfect date, then a text on the same day may be the best way forward. But if you’re not very sure about her feelings towards you, then perhaps you could play it safe by waiting a day before calling her.
If you call her the very next evening, it tells her that you’ve been thinking of her which is always a happy sign.
She may have had her insecurities overnight, but your call can vanquish her insecurities and rekindle the happy thoughts all over again. By calling her the next day, you can play it safe and let her know that you like her, but you’re not yet smitten by her and need some more time to take the plunge.
#3 Call her after two days
A guy who calls a girl after two days is playing by the book. Everyone knows the unwritten rule of waiting two days before calling after a date.
So do you like her? Are you in love with her? She’d have no idea.
She’d also have no idea about whether you’re just playing it cool or are genuinely interested in her. While waiting for a couple of days before calling can be safe, there’s also a big chance that her insecurities may have grown so much she may even be annoyed with you. Thinking from a girl’s perspective, she wouldn’t want to think too much about the date especially if you’ve made her wait for two days. Even if she’s excited, her fear of rejection or not hearing back from you may numb the excitement.
And if she is excited to get your call, she’d definitely play hard to get for a while. You played hard to get by making her heart beat louder for two whole days, pal, and now it’s payback time.
#4 Call her after a week
If you’ve kept your date waiting on hot coals for a week, it’s obvious that you aren’t really interested in her or even smitten by her. You know that and she’s understood that through your silence.
And even if you do call and don’t have any genuine reason for the delayed callback, she’s going to think you’re a wannabe player or a jerk. If you like her and can’t wait to meet her again, don’t ever wait a week before calling. And if you don’t want to go out with her again, tell her about it when you’re dropping her off.
Dropping signs of your lack of interest by calling her a week later will only make her despise you.
When should a guy call after a first date?
If you ask me, I’d suggest two options for you. Text her the very evening, or call her the next day.
If you think you’ve met your soul mate on a date, do you really need to wait a week because someone told you so? Strike when the iron is hot, especially when both of you are smitten by each other. In any case, a text only reveals your concern and chivalry.
But if you aren’t sure about her feelings for you, call the next evening and have a conversation. Chances are, you’ll know what’s on her mind by then.