When you love someone, you shouldn’t make them feel guilty over the way they feel. You shouldn’t get annoyed with them when they express fear or sadness or jealousy. You shouldn’t blame them for getting emotional over things you personally consider silly.
You shouldn’t expect your person to handle every single situation in the same way you handle it. You’re not clones. You’re going to have different responses to different circumstances and that doesn’t make one of you right and the other wrong.
Everyone handles situations differently. Everyone processes emotions differently. The key to a healthy relationship is being there for your person, even when they are coping in a completely different way than you. You can’t force them to feel how you feel. You can’t look down on them for being more or less emotional. You have to accept them — and their feelings.
You don’t want to encourage your person to hide their emotions from you. You don’t want to accidentally convince them to start censoring what they say to you. You don’t want them to feel like they can’t have certain conversations with you, can’t open up to you, can’t trust you to listen when something is wrong.
When you love someone, you shouldn’t punish them over their emotions. You should consider their feelings valid even if you don’t understand exactly where they’re going from. If they’e upset, you should let them cry. If they’re happy, you should let them ramble. If they’re scared, you should let them voice their fears.
When you love someone, you should be there for them, no matter what emotion they are experiencing. You shouldn’t run away when they get too real with you. You shouldn’t flee at the first sign of genuine emotion. You shouldn’t make them feel like they are too clingy or dramatic or annoying, simply for sharing their thoughts with you.
When you love someone, you want them to feel comfortable with you. You want them to feel safe with you. You want them to share everything with you. You don’t want them to feel like they need to walk on eggshells whenever you’re in the room. You don’t want them to wonder whether expressing too much emotion is going to scare you away. You don’t want them to doubt whether or not you can handle the real them.
A relationship is never going to work without communication, which is why you don’t want to encourage your person to keep quiet. You don’t want to make them feel like they should cope with their problems on their own because you don’t want to be bothered.
When you love someone, you should encourage them to show their vulnerable side to you, even when it’s messy, even when it makes things complicated. You should be excited when your person decides they trust you enough to open up about their deepest feelings. You should be happy whenever they give you a glimpse at their heart — and you should never make them feel bad about it.