Loss is like someone tearing your heart out, right through your chest. The reason they call it heartbreak is because it feels like your heart is going to break in half and you’re not going to feel right again. When thoughts of I miss you consume you, it feels similar to grief.
When you miss him, it feels like the end of the world for you. A void in your heart makes the world a dark and gray place to be in right now, and it feels impossible to keep going.
Why do I miss him?
You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself when you miss him. He was a significant part of your life and in a fraction of a moment, he’s gone. Missing him makes you human, especially after everything you’ve been through. When you miss him, remember all the good moments you’ve gone through with him.
Remember the moments where he made you laugh, be filled with life, be loved, and be filled with hope. You miss him because he was everything you wanted and needed – until life said otherwise.
10 mind tricks to try when you miss him
Even if you’re not within proximity to him, there are several ways you can cope with it. Your heartbreak might feel like a never-ending pain, but the sun will shine again. When you find yourself saying, “I miss him,” it just means that you’re capable of love.
In this feature, we’ll be listing down ways you can deal with your feelings when you miss him. It’s never going to get easier, but you’ll eventually get better at dealing with until. One day, you’ll wake up and the pain of missing him isn’t as painful anymore.
1. Think of all his flaws and shortcomings
We like to think of the people we love as perfect and diving beings, but they’re not. When you miss him, remember everything he did to hurt you and let you down. It’s easier to focus on the perfect moments when we miss someone, but your love for them is hiding their greatest flaws and imperfections.
2. Keep yourself busy
The best way to feel better when you miss him is to distract yourself just enough to forget the thought of missing him. When you keep thinking I miss him, then you’ll never be strong enough to cope with the reality of a life without him.
Your thoughts are loudest when you’re hurting so do what you must to cope with your heartbreak and loss. Idle minds really are the devil’s playground because they allow you to fill the space with memories and despair.
Feel free to play your favorite video games, spend time with your friends, or have all kinds of adventures. Do everything except wallow in your own sorrow and devastation.
3. Do all the things you didn’t when you were together
When you are a couple, you sometimes give up the things you love because there isn’t enough time or your significant other simply isn’t a big fan. Instead of spending all your energy missing him, use this opportunity to go to the beach or party with your friends.
4. Find a hobby
Your independence should be the sole focus at this stage of your life. When you miss him, focus on the chance to do everything you’ve ever wanted.
Take a painting class, go to a spontaneous party, and enjoy life! You don’t have to answer to anyone and have much more time, so find out what you love and what you are passionate about and go for it.
You no longer have to feel guilty to do things you’ve always wanted to do. Now is the time to forget about him and start focusing on what makes you happy without him.
5. Go out as much as possible
If your friends suggest that you would be perfect with one of their co-workers, don’t have the immediate thought that you aren’t ready to date yet, and opt out! You need to expand your horizons and get out of your comfort zone. Even if the thought of I miss him enters, this is especially when you need to go out.
6. Take a new class
Escaping the thoughts of when you miss him is all about finding the right distractions to get out of your head. Find the local gym nearby and take a new exercise class. Or, if you already belong to one, find a class that you wouldn’t ever consider and take it.
Get out of your comfort zone and use this time to really explore your life. Be open to new experiences and don’t say no if the opportunity doesn’t harm you.
7. Let it go and stop obsessing
No matter how much you make sense of things and explore every scenario, you’ll never have all the answers. Even if you had closure, you can still end up obsessing, so it’s not a reliable solution.
It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut and rehash things when you miss him, but be strong enough to refrain from this. Instead of holding onto memories or trying to find out why he left, why he had to go, or simply why it didn’t work, stop talking about it.
The more you talk about it, the more you dwell on events of the past. You’ll never be able to stop missing him if this is the case. While it’s healthy to talk about it initially, it can’t be all you ever do when you miss him. Working through the anxiety is much better than drudging up old feelings again and again.
8. Put away pictures and memories
Pictures can give us something to hold on to, especially when that person is no longer in our lives. However, they can also hinder you from moving forward and living your best life.
This doesn’t mean you have to burn all your photos and memories together, but at least put them away where you can’t see them. Maybe it is just time to put them away for just a bit so that you can get back to life.
9. Return things via mail
When you miss him, keeping his belongings as a constant reminder isn’t helping. We’ve all done this with an ex, especially when the thoughts of I miss him get very overwhelming.
You come up with every excuse in the book to see him, such as returning his things in person or accidentally stumbling upon his place. Even when you miss him, you shouldn’t put yourself through the torture of seeing him in person.
This also doesn’t imply you get to keep his things as that doesn’t help you either. Return them in a box via mail to get past the hurt of seeing them all the time.
10. Avoid triggers
There are going to be things that trigger your memories and bring back the hurt. You need to learn your triggers so that you actively avoid them or learn to cope.
If a chick flick sets you off, don’t watch it. If you both had pizza every Friday, skip it. You will always find reminders around you that will trigger thoughts of I miss you, but don’t give into them.