Constantly thinking why do I hate people doesn’t mean you’re heartless or you don’t care. As you grow older, it’s completely normal to have a lesser tolerance for people, especially those you don’t particularly like. It’s easy to be triggered by things that annoy you, even if it’s as simple as their presence.
When you think why do I hate people, it’s easy for people to let you down. You give them your entire trust and faith, and people always find ways to break that trust.
The reason that people are so hate-able is simple; no one is perfect. If you run around asking “why do I hate people?” it might be time to change your mindset, or you’re going to live a very lonely life. Nobody’s perfect, which means that they’re just as flawed as you are.
You can’t expect perfection from others if that’s going to be your standard for hating people. By definition, human beings are fallible. We were made individually and not perfect.
What seems totally acceptable to one person is totally not to another. You can’t hate people for being flawed and imperfect. After all, how would you feel if the situations were reserved?
If people hated you for being flaws and imperfect? Everyone has different personalities and mindsets. Rather than expecting the world to adjust for you, choose to adjust your thinking instead.
7 strategies to put down the hate and find peace
The more you dwell on thinking why do I hate people, the more you’ll live a miserable life. If you want to let go of all that hate and anger in your heart, you must be willing to accept flaws and imperfections. You’re not perfect either so why are you expecting it from others?
Your spouse, best friend, or even parent won’t live up to your expectations. Everyone is just trying to live the best they can every day. You don’t have to hate people, but you do have to accept them for who they are.
This means being guarded with what you say, and never investing in someone who isn’t worth it. You have full control over your life and only you can decide whether you choose to live a happy one or a miserable one. The choice is all yours.
In this feature, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know on how to deal with your thoughts of why do I hate people in living a happier life.
1. Stop expecting too much
If you sat back and looked closely, what you would find is your flaws. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to hold a standard for others you can’t achieve yourself? The more you expect from others, the more disappointed you’ll be.
In fact, you’ll never meet anyone who’ll meet your standards if this is the case. Stop seeing the bar too high and just let people be themselves. Others are going to disappoint you in this lifetime, and that’s okay.
It’s part of what life is all about. Even if they don’t intend to hurt you, they will eventually – and this goes both ways. The more you expect, the more you’ll keep thinking why do I hate people so much.
The reality is, this mindset is something only you can change. Your hate for others comes from within you and nobody else.
2. Be guarded
The world is so judgmental nowadays that everyone judges you based on what they see. Oftentimes, this is just the tip of the iceberg and they don’t see the real story behind things. This is why it’s so important to be guarded, especially when you’re constantly consumed with thoughts of why do I hate people.
You might never stop living in fear that others are going to betray and hurt you. However, you can put your guard up and become more cautious of those you trust. Of course, you can never be a hundred percent bulletproof in trusting people, but at least it gives you some sort of peace.
It’s perfectly okay to have a friend you can trust and tell them your life story. However, being too self-disclosed upfront will always leave you open to being the source of discussion.
3. Stay away from the pack
We’ve all experienced being part of a group of friends at some point in our lives. In fact, there was a time we would do everything just to belong to a group of friends. However, this can do more damage than good for your happiness and mental health.
Groups quickly become packs and develop an “us” and “them” mentality. It also establishes a situation where people have to take their role among the group. Often in groups, there’s one person who’s superior to the rest of the members of that group.
When you get attached to belonging to a group of friends, everything you do is validated by them. If you find that you hate people, then the best way to avoid being hurt is to have a couple of friends from different groups and avoid ever becoming a tight-knit part of a social circle.
4. Stop caring what people think of you
Often, the reason that you hate people is that you simply can’t seem to figure them out or make them happy. The truth is, you’ll always live a miserable life if you never stop caring what others think of you. At the end of the day, you’re the only person that should validate yourself – nobody else.
If you are overly sensitive, it makes it very hard to like people. When you are highly sensitive, you may be reading social cues negatively when they aren’t meant to be that way. This means it’s very easy for you to take things personally, even when they’re not really mad at you, but are just dealing with a tough situation.
If your mood depends highly on what others feel, then it’s only natural to be consumed with thoughts filled with why do I hate people. You have to stop worrying about what others think of you as the world won’t stop turning if one person decides they don’t like you.
You can’t please everyone, so why on earth are you destroying yourself for everyone to like you? If you find yourself hating people, it’s because you care way too much about what they think or feel. You’re eventually going to have to learn to accept that not everyone will like or love you – and that’s okay.
5. Let it roll
It’s very easy to overthink everything nowadays, which is why it’s also easy to hate people around you. However, holding grudges or constantly overthinking and over-analyzing situations can make you feel resentment that is only a waste of your time.
Being angry and resentful is such a waste of your time, especially when you realize not everything is about you. Someone’s anger or indifference isn’t necessarily direct towards you, but they’re unintentionally projecting it. Stop holding on to the things and people that make you miserable.
As mentioned a few times above, you control your life, which means you shouldn’t give that control to other people. If someone is intentionally being toxic or abusive towards you or they’re treating you badly, don’t be afraid to cut them off completely from your life.
Yes, let things roll, but also learn when to say no every now and then. If you keep thinking why do I hate people, then maybe the best solution is to stop overthinking every action of the people around you.
If someone hurts your feelings, make a choice. Either let it go and assume they didn’t mean it, or break up with them. If they don’t care as much about you as you do for them, it may be time to move along.
6. Have one true friend
The one thing you need most in life is love, It would be preferable if you had an abundance of it, but it would also be okay if you had at least one true friend in your life. You need someone to depend your entire life on unconditionally, someone who you could trust without a second of a doubt.
The world can be so dark and lonely, that you need that one person to remind you that life isn’t as bad as we originally thought. Along the way, if you can find just one true and honest friend, then you have done a pretty good job. Really, you don’t need a thousand or even a million friends to be happy.
In the same sense, you don’t need the entire world to love you – all you need is one person to make you like the world a little bit. Stop focusing on the wrong things and choose to love that one true friend with everything you’ve got.
7. Realize there are peaks and valleys and forgiveness
I know you’ve been so used to your negative thoughts on why do I hate people, but try to think back to a time you didn’t hate people as much. There was once a time you were filled with happiness, optimism, and joy. Remember when you used to trust people with your entire heart, even with the possibility that they’ll hurt you back?
How fond you were of people, even meeting strangers you could potentially form connections with? Remember who you were back then and realize you can still have that same mindset today. No matter what trauma or pain you’ve been through, remember that the pain of the past doesn’t equate to the present.
If you want to stop hating people and feeling like people are basically not good, try to forgive the things that people might have said or done to you in the past. Holding on to all that angst isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially you. No matter how much you dwell on the past, you can’t change what’s already happened.
8. Learn to rest
One of the possible answers to your question of why do I hate people is because of burnout. This might not be a personal cause, but it’s a very common reason to be frustrated and annoyed with everyone you come across. In fact, you might even project some of your stress and burnout to the people you love most without realizing it.
Burnout is a very real possibility of hating people, which is caused by overworking and not giving yourself enough breaks. Provided that we don’t always have control over our work schedules and careers, but you need to find the balance between your work and personal life.
You’ll always have work to come back to when you’re fully energized, but that’s not the case when you take advantage of your mental health entirely.
When you’re constantly exhausted from work, a lot of that stress turns into hate and anger toward other people. You need to learn to rest and let go of the mindset that it’s counterproductive to your success.
9. Learn to socialize
Okay, this is a very important one. Humans were created towards the need for socialization, but not everyone knows how to. Some are categorized as introverts and while that’s okay, you shouldn’t hate people just because you’re introverted.
This also means you need to learn to adjust to the different personalities of everyone around you. The world won’t always fulfill your needs and wants. If you’re used to living in your comfort bubble, it’s time to change that.
10. Stop isolating yourself
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to push everyone away if you’re stuck in isolation and solitude? Whether you’re having a bad day or going through a depressive episode, stop pushing people away just because you’ve been accustomed to being alone.