Not everybody deals well with hearing that they’re the love of someone else’s life. Commitment issues fill their mind with the words, you are the love of my life. It scares them to the point that they drop everything and just bail without a second thought.
Even if you’re 100% sure the other person feels the same, it can be really scary for you to get out. The fear of rejection often makes people hold back from saying those words. Then they don’t feel like they can be themselves around their significant other catapulting their relationship downhill.
Why people are afraid of hearing “you are the love of my life.”
The biggest reason so many people get freaked out by hearing that their significant other loves them is because they have commitment issues. More people have commitment issues than you may realize even if they’re comfortable being in a defined relationship.
Other reasons people are scared is because it reminds them of past relationships where they fell in love, and it was not reciprocated. They may fear what the future holds by hearing this phrase, and it causes them to act all nuts.
How to tell someone “you are the love of my life” without freaking them out
Not everyone is going to be freaked out by hearing this phrase. But it’s still best to know how to begin the conversation in such a way that helps them remain calm. There is a skill to announcing your true feelings that you have to master if you don’t want to scare them away.
#1 Determine how long it’s been. There is a real difference between being in love with someone and just being infatuated with them. True, real love takes time. Get to know the person in depth to see if they can truly touch you on that deep of a level.
If it’s been a really short amount of time, and you start saying things like, “You are the love of my life,” they will run away faster than you can finish that sentence. Announcing this too soon is a huge reason many people get freaked out.
#2 Figure out how they’re feeling. Try to decipher how they’re feeling about you. Do they exhibit signs that show they’re in love with you or do they just treat you like someone they just started dating? Figuring out how they feel helps you decide how to tell them, and if you should say anything yet at all.
#3 Decide how they accept forms of love. People feel love in so many different ways. They can feel loved by getting gifts, receiving compliments, being cuddled and cared for, and just being told as much. Figure out when they’re the happiest and adjust how you would tell them, “You are the love of my life.”
#4 Hold onto this thought for a few weeks. Once you’ve discovered you feel like you’re in love with them, don’t say anything right away. Give it a few weeks to fester in your mind, so you can really be certain that you actually do. Telling someone they’re the love of your life without knowing for SURE that they truly are causes major problems, especially freaking them out.
#5 Decide when you’re going tell them. Now that you’ve decided for certain that you’re going to tell them, pick a time when. Plan a fun or passionate night and let that be your time to tell them. Choosing a specific time helps you prepare. A well-prepared announcement of these feelings helps you feel secure and if you’re confident, they’ll feel secure, too.
#6 Don’t surprise them with it. While this may seem really passionate and it’s been successfully done on hundreds of passionate comedies, this isn’t a movie. Surprising them may just cause them to go into shock.
If you’ve never gave the vibe that you feel this way and you spring this on them, they’re going to think it’s completely random and will start to freak out from the pure shock value of something that big.
#7 Leave little hints beforehand. For the above reason, leave little hints here and there that indicate you are starting to feel really into them. Make them breakfast occasionally, buy them tickets to their favorite show, and do little things that show them you’re feeling especially loving toward them.
#8 Watch their response to those hints. When you do those sweet and loving things for them, watch the way they take it. Do they lean over and give you a kiss and are really appreciative or do they just mutter a quick, “thanks,” and move on. If they do the first of those two, then chances are they’re feeling the same way as you.
#9 Choose your words carefully. Blurting out, “You are the love of my life,” causes a lot of freak out to happen because it’s such a profound statement of certainty. This certainty scares people who have a few commitment problems.
Choose your words carefully. Saying something along the lines of, “You make me happier than I’ve ever been,” and following it up with, “I can see myself falling in love with you,” gets the same point across with much less impact.
#10 Don’t take your words back. Once you say you feel this way for them, NEVER apologize and take your words back if they have a minor freak out moment. Instead, simply tell them that you understand how they’re feeling, but you can’t help the way you feel about them.