YOU LEAVING DIDN’T KILL ME BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME DIED THAT DAY

Posted: July 14, 2020 by XPOFeed

Shhh and listen. I remember how I also shushed myself that day after you left. Can you hear those sounds? The sounds of loneliness and emptiness? They are the same sounds I could hear that day.

Something inside me died that day and it changed me for good.

I still remember everything perfectly. That picture of you leaving will remain in my memory forever. I can still see it like it’s happening at this same moment.

You came to me with the famous, “We need to talk,” sentence and I immediately knew that something bad was about to happen, even though I still can’t understand what the reason for it was.

Regardless, I didn’t see it coming. I couldn’t even imagine that you were planning on leaving me, to give up on our relationship, to forget all our plans and goals for the future.

Soon, the worst thing happened. My worst nightmare came true.

No, actually, I never could have even dreamed that something like that could have happened to me, to us.

You know, you leaving me was always my biggest fear. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You became my other half, my better half… my everything.

 

I’ll never forget the day I met you because it was the day I met love. It was the day I could hear my heart beating so hard that it seemed like it was going to jump out of my chest.

It was the day I first felt that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I hadn’t felt so peaceful or happy in a long time.

I wished that moment would last forever because I didn’t want that feeling to go away.

People say that you can tell so much about a person by the way they leave. I agree with this, actually, you proved to me it’s true. You showed your true colors when you decided to leave me for good.

I realized that all that time, I had the wrong image of you. The love I felt for you made me completely blind and that’s why I couldn’t see your true face.

You were my friend, my bestie, my partner, my love, my lover. You were my calm in the stormy ocean called life. You were everything I always wished for and hoped for.

I idealized you and that was my mistake. For me, you were the perfect person, the perfect man. I always thought you were flawless. I forgot that we are all human beings and none of us is perfect.

Only Almighty God is perfect.

You claimed so many times that you loved me. You told me so many times that there was nothing in this world you wouldn’t do for me. Now, I can see that none of it was real.

 

Your love was never real. You can’t say that you love someone and then destroy them.

You can’t swear that you love someone and expect them to believe it when your actions show just the opposite of that.

Now, you are back again. You are all alone and lonely and you want to ‘have the talk’ with me again. How highly must you think of yourself?

You think that you have the right to come back whenever you want and that you’ll be welcomed back?

Well, you won’t. Don’t try to sell me that story of how you needed some time or how you never stopped loving me. I don’t buy it anymore.

Remember? I met the real you and you can’t lie to me anymore.

Everything is so much easier for me now because I realized that you were never actually worthy of me. You never deserved me, nor my love.

Can you hear that sound? It’s so well-known to me. It’s the sound of your heart breaking. I could hear mine that day and for so many days after. A piece of my heart broke and it’ll never be the same again.

It doesn’t matter. Different or the same, my heart is still beating, I’m still alive and that’s all that matters. I’m so proud of my heart for everything it endured.

 

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