Not everyday life: 3 things that destroy a marriage. The same phrase “the boat crashed into everyday life” is pronounced by a man and a woman with completely different feelings. A woman regrets this, a man, as a rule, does not.
“Everyday life poisoned our relationship.” This is what men often say, justifying their leaving their wives and children for a young mistress. Monotonous sex, lack of cleanliness in the house, tasteless food.
There are many reasons for reproach. Marriage is destroyed for three reasons: betrayal, lies, and cruelty. When a man attributes his reluctance to come home to everyday life, he is being hypocritical.
3 things that ruin a marriage:
Things should be called by their proper names. A husband ignores his responsibilities as a father – betrayal. Doesn’t want to cook or maintain cleanliness, calling it “women’s work” is a lie.
Denying his wife’s support in moments of depression is cruelty. If a husband and wife act and live truly together, all their affairs are joint victories and defeats. All sorrows and joys become common.
I categorically insist on calling everything by its proper name:
if a spouse does not fulfill his parental responsibilities, then this is betrayal;
if a husband says that he “can’t do women’s things,” then this is a lie;
if he does not sympathize with his wife in a difficult situation, in depression, for example, then this is cruelty.
When I hear the phrase “a boat that crashed into everyday life” from a woman, I hear a feeling of guilt.
When I hear this phrase from a man, I hear cruelty and heartlessness. I explained to my husband then: that when two comrades travel together in a tank, fighting and surviving in the most difficult conditions, no one can be bored.
If each of them gives their best, then this is a test, work, and in the end – a joint victory.
And if one of these comrades snorts that sleeping in a tank is inconvenient, and noisy and generally says: “I catch myself thinking that I don’t want to return to the tank in the evenings,” then this is not a comrade!
The husband laughed at first, and then it dawned on him…
And I stood and watched his face and gaze change. How does it dawn on an adult from another planet that on my planet it is a common thing, understandable to every woman?
And I was very sad. No, it’s not “everyday life” and crashed boats that destroy a marriage. Marriage is destroyed by Lies, Betrayal, and Cruelty.